I believed the best was yet to come
I believed there wasn’t anything we couldn’t get through
I believed in you and me
For eternity
Until you put your hands on me
I understood the abuse from your past
I came from one too
I understood how your parents succumbed to addiction
Poppin’ pills, liquorin’ up…and shootin’ up
As did you
I came from a household of boozin’ up
Still
I wanted better
Thought you did too
Still
I didn’t give in to the insidiousness of my DNA
But you did
And that was okay
‘cause I loved you unconditionally
And I reached out my hand for you to hold onto
And I believed you were more than the savages you came from
Until you choked me
I gave you my heart
My mind
My body
My soul
I believed you when you said
You did too
And I believed you when you said
I was the love of your life
I believed you when you said
You wanted to make me your wife
Until you almost killed me
I believed you when you said
You didn’t mean to do it
When you said it was a “blackout”
I wasn’t sure just what I believed
‘cause all I remember was shutting down
Praying this wasn’t really happening
I wanted so desperately for you to get well
All the while your drug addiction, violent outbursts and alcohol dependence took center stage
And made my world a livin’ hell
And I slipped further into the abyss
I cried
I prayed
I lashed out
I retreated
To a world I escaped to when I was a kid
Alone with my pets
Getting lost in the pages of a book
Or writing
As the tears froze
As my soul withered
And as my spirit started to perish
I stood by you when the vultures known as your DNA
Circled and swooped in
They didn’t like the way I responded to you putting your hands on me
They didn’t like how I called the cops and had you arrested
You didn’t like it either
You blamed me for your outbursts
You said I was the reason for it
The little girl inside was too shattered to cry
‘cause the man she loved was strangling the little boy she loved inside
The damaged little boy…you
I loved you unconditionally
Despite the fact I didn’t understand the world you came from
A mother, a father sticking needles in their arms
A sister not worthy enough to raise her kids
A little sister taking her clothes off for dollars
And a man so broken
He let the best thing to ever enter his life go
‘cause there was a sick, twisted comfort in the familiar
And he answered the call of the savages who share the same DNA
Copyright © 2016 by Diane Morasco
J Fox Ink ™ | An unsurpassed reading excursion™! 