TOUGH JOURNAL ENTRY THURSDAY 9/1/16

FullSizeRender (14)Today I did something I haven’t done since writing my debut novel, Even Tough Women Crack Like Eggs Sometimes. I listened to the needs of DIANE. I not only listened to what Diane wanted. I actually followed through by RESPECTING those needs. There has been so much dust kicking up as I excavate the wreckage of my past in the pages of this manuscript. In fact, a few TOUGH women have mentioned for me to take it easy because of what I have written – and because of what is coming up.

As I reach “The End” of TOUGH, so many emotions I tamped down have decided to take a stand and say NO MORE – FEEL THEM! Really FEEL them and not in the way I perfected growing up on Long Island surrounded by the vultures who share my DNA. Not in the way DIANE MORASCO has perfected a Swiss cheese version of feeling them either. But in a way that the little girl born at Jacobi Hospital on Pelham Pkwy in the Bronx with the curly hair, dimples and caramel skin needed. The precious little girl who arrived in this world a result of rape, the innocent angel God not only saved, but beautifully designed, despite the heinous machinations of her maternal parent’s DNA.

I was waffling about attending a morning appointment or staying in to nurture myself. Which was/is foreign territory. The perfectionist I am was going to keep the appointment despite what I needed. I figured I could just do what I always do and place my needs to the side and “do the right thing” as usual; until I realized I would be contributing to the abuse I endured by not listening to what I was feeling. I debated for over thirty minutes. I finally said to myself, “Diane, if you aren’t going to protect little Diane who the heck is?” I told myself I would make a decision when the snooze alarms on my iPad and Galaxy S7 went off. They went off within seconds. Imagine that? There are NO coincidences. None. Nada. I called to cancel and still debated with myself as I was connected to the woman’s voicemail. I was telling myself it would only be a few hours…blah…blah…blah. I left the message. After I disconnected from the line, I cried. I cried because I have been conditioned to keep on going despite honoring my needs. I have been conditioned to “act as if” no matter what it cost. And, I have been conditioned to “never let anyone see your weakness” – NOT EVER! Who conditioned me to behave in such a manner? I did. It was a way for little Diane to protect herself from the chaos of her environment. It was what got us through. It served its purpose then. It no longer serves us in any way that is healthy, loving or nurturing.

Today, for the first time I listened to our needs. I cried myself to sleep. I released so many emotions without fear of scrutiny. When I woke up to absorb it all, I ended up succumbing to more tears. However, these were now tears of grief for that innocent little girl who was tortured by frightened adults who had no damn business raising any children – NONE – when they had yet to address their own messed up stuff.

What was it that caused these buried feelings to erupt today? Writing the Even Tough Women Crack Like Eggs Sometimes Excerpt: Our DNA, the last few chapters of TOUGH, addressing my childhood without a filtered lens, dealing with my abuse, shinning a spotlight on my body image issues that stemmed from my sexual abuse, reading June Stevens Westerfield’s powerful book, This is My Body, writing The Vicious Cycle of Eating Disorders and Body-Shaming, Part 2 and Even Tough Women Crack Like Eggs Sometimes Excerpt: When Words Slaughter a Soul! last night; and knowing the final chapters of TOUGH will bring me to my knees – so I can rise from the ashes and grow into the woman I was sculpted to be.

I want to express my gratitude to the TOUGH women who have inspired me along the way,  Doreena, Louisa Winters, Parris Afton Bonds,  Tanya R. Taylor, Diana Layne, Cinda, Sibel Hodge, June Stevens Westerfield, and all of the courageous women who shared their experience, strength and hope within the pages of This is My Body.

With all my heart, I want to thank Frederick Joseph Paris, my Prince, for standing by me when I disclosed the incest. And, my hero for setting all of this is in motion.

Welcome to September, cookie cakes…soon to be pumpkin cookie cakes!

P.S. Here is the link to The Vicious Cycle of Eating Disorders and Body-Shaming, Part 1 in case ya missed it.

ADMSIG

TOUGH JOURNAL ENTRY SATURDAY 8/20/16

BAOceanGood gravy, cookie cakes, this week writing ‘Even Tough Women Crack Like Eggs Sometimes’ has put me through the paces. For a minute, I thought I was training for the Olympics or something. This particular chapter put me through the grinder and if that wasn’t enough, it decided to mince me. Why? Just because. I found myself procrastinating for the first time since I started writing TOUGH due to the events taking place during this chapter. I knew why I was acting up; however, I owned my procrastination misbehavin’ tantrum, and tackled the chapter like a BOSS! A NEW YORK / JERSEY BOSS!

I would not have been able to make it through the other side without the angels I have been blessed with to travel with me on this journey. As always, Diana Layne and Tanya R. Taylor. I am forever grateful for your presence in my life. You TOUGH women have allowed me to be me, as is, and that is a delicious liberty I haven’t been able to fully experience before. You have been at my side, as tears fall, as laughter erupts, as exhaustion sets in, as fear moves in, as sadness takes hold, as silliness bubbles up, as #SPOILEDBRATPROBLEMS creep in. And, that is enough right there, isn’t it Cookie Cake and Truth Slayer? Hahaha!

I know the subsequent chapters will come at me like Laila Ali. Guess what? I’m ready! I am prepared for it, after all, these final emotional chapters are going to bring me to ‘The End’ and I can finally BREATHE!!! And let the edits begin. Oh, wait, Truth Slayer is going to come at me with her editing sword. Guess, I will be waiting to exhale after the edits are finished. Oye!

Thank goodness, I have some books by Tanya R. Taylor to read as I wade through the molasses. Hurry up, Diana, finish Nia, Be Mine, so I have even more books in my sanctuary to nest in while in the grips of TOUGH.

Thank goodness for my new favorite storyteller, Carolyn Q, Hunter’s cozy series. Now, Hunter has to hop to it and churn out more uber (not the car service, cookie cakes. Hahaha!) fabulous books to keep me from having even more #SPOILEDBRATPROBLEMS. In the meantime, I will have to re-read Hunter’s The Diner of the Dead Cozy Mystery Series published under Summer Prescott Books, which is cool with me.

I also want to take a moment to thank two angels who crossed my path yesterday, Jasmin and Kiersten, for the fun time…and for reminding me that beneath the TOUGH exterior is a young girl who was never able to be just that. Thank you, ladies. 

And to my trio of blessings, you mean the world to me.

Note to self: COOKIE CAKE, YOU ARE APPROACHING THE FINISH LINE.

Reply to self: DON’T BREAK INTO A HAPPY SHIMMEY, COOKIE CAKE, ‘CAUSE THE EDITS ARE COMING. GRRR!!!

ADMSIG

 

Note from the Publisher: Grateful and Thankful!

thank you circle sentiment-

Thank you to my earth angels for navigating me along on this expedition – Tanya R. Taylor aka Cookie Cake and Diana Layne aka Truth Slayer. I am extremely blessed to have such TOUGH women in my life.

For all those times I want to bolt and say, “NO MORE! I CANNOT EDIT ANOTHER BLASTED THING!!!” Just remember, I am in the throes of giving in to my #SPOILEDBRATPROBLEMS! Hahaha!!!

Gin, Hope and Zeus thank you for being my trio of blessings!

ADMSIG

Spirits Unleashed 7 (2)

 

Happy Weekend Cookie Cakes!

20160806_171808 (2)Happy Weekend Cookie Cakes!

I hope you are enjoying your weekend. For those feeling the heat, please take extra care of you and your loved ones. Please don’t forget about your pets! :]

There are lots of exciting things going on here at J Fox Ink™! My debut novel has a new name – Even Tough Women Crack Like Eggs Sometimes. I originally chose the previous title as a filler, so I can get it underway. And it is definitely underway, so much so, I have added two additional chapters. The earth angels that I have been blessed with decided to grab my hand before I fell off the edge. These beautiful spirits gently and lovingly shared their views on the tentative title going viral. I knew it was going to change just before it was released, but these brilliant women decided to give me a lil’ ‘ole nudge to do it now. I am not going to deny my little girl was like, “Really? Now?” And my big girl said, “Really? Now?” However, no matter how much I wanted to procrastinate a little further, I knew in my heart it was time. The last chapter I just completed really puts it out there. It kicked my ass even more than the previous chapters.

When the feedback starting coming in, I wanted to run and hide. Funny thing is, you can’t unring a bell. If I went to hide, it would be fruitless – the words were out there. The phenomenal storyteller, Tanya R, Taylor said my “heart really speaks in that chapter. Really speaks.” Yep, beneath the ice there is a heart. And award winning novelist, Diane Layne, said it is “heartbreaking.” This chapter took me through the paces. It felt like Serena Williams worked my bubbalicious, chubbalicious, curvalicious rump out! : )

Anyway, I am writing, writing and writing. Did I mention I was writing? Hahaha! When I am not writing, I am behind the scenes handling the business end of things. I have to say, this is the hardest thing I have ever written. EVER. I am digging deep, shining a megawatt spotlight on the darkness, clearing the wreckage, and dealing with secrets and skeletons. I am excavating, peeling the layers and revealing the woman I am today. And, that woman is emerging beautifully. In the last ten weeks, I am down 50 lbs. I have to thank my fitness angel for being such a powerful source of encouragement. Thank you, Avo! ;]

I want to thank some incredibly tough women who have been on this journey with me from the beginning – Tanya R. Taylor, Parris Afton Bonds, Traci Andrighetti, Gina LaManna, and Diana Layne. My heart is overwhelmed with gratitude for your acceptance, friendship, guidance, input, love, strength, and understanding. I am truly blessed.

Thank you to all of the wonderful writers for the congratulations and for being so unbelievably gracious in spreading the word about my upcoming release – Tanya R. Taylor, Parris Afton Bonds, Diana Layne, Sibel Hodge, Gemma Halliday, Beth Prentice, Barbara Valentin, Sally J. Smith, Gayle Trent, Dane McCaslin, Terrie Farley Moran, Lynda Renham-Cook, Summer Prescott, and Sylvia Selfman. You women are amazing!

And now, let’s dish on my upcoming 2017 OLD SEA HARBOR SERIES. I teamed up with an imaginative designer who understands exactly what I want for this series. I want readers to look at the covers and say, “Morasco, yes! This image tells the story nestled inside your gripping pages!” My designer is a radiant gem! The covers for THE OLD SEA HARBOR NOVELS™ are exclusively created by TRT STUDIOS™. This past week, the dazzling designer and I brainstormed on the cover for SPIRITS UNLEASHED. We ended up with not just the cover for the first novella, but the cover for the second novella, SPIRITS PROWLING. How cool is that? Way cool!

I want to thank TRT STUDIOS™ for ingeniously capturing the essence of my upcoming Old Sea Harbor Series. Thank you so much!

“TRT STUDIOS™ has magnificently brought my vision for my upcoming 2017 OLD SEA HARBOR SERIES to life. What started out as an adult series for J Fox Ink™ has turned into something beyond my wildest imaginings. THE OLD SEA HARBOR NOVELS™ will feature a Young Adult spinoff with REMAINS TO BE SEEN as the first release under the Lil’ Jake™ imprint. As well as, a trilogy of novellas containing the history surrounding Old Sea Harbor, New York.

SPIRITS UNLEASHED will be the first novella staring the evocative Vivianna Grace Diamant Spencer.”  Grab your copy December 30th 2016.

Whew! I have been a creative bumblebee.

Ok, that’s it for now! The kids want you to see what they do while mommy toils away. Hmmm…Hahaha!

As always, thank you for being here, and thank you for reading!!! Happy August!

ADMSM

Thank you!

thankyourbAs a writer I am used to having many distractions as I capture my thoughts on the screen or in a journal. I only needed silence while proofreading my work; however, all that has changed with the manuscript that is currently in production. My entire writing world has undergone a transition as I tap, tap, tap away on the keys. I don’t have anything playing in the background. For the first time ever, I am writing in silence. I don’t have any distractions to take me out of flow. As I mentioned, my writing universe has shifted; in fact, all my projects have come to a complete standstill. I may resume them once the manuscript is completed and is preparing to go live; however, putting them on the production schedule for 2017 is probably best. This unexpected manuscript has taken its rightful place front and center in my life – exactly where it was destined to be.

Screenshot (1)

I have been off the grid to devote every ounce of my time to soaking up this profound experience. I have been digging deeper than I ever imagined as the words pour out. Of course, while in the midst of what is flowing out of me, stuff is swirling and dust is kicking up. It is during this reflective excavation, I want to say, “Diane, what the hell are you doing?” And then I surrender. I let the tears cascade, take a breath, hug my three blessings, and keep moving forward. I know with every letter that appears on the screen, whether I like it or not, I am letting the sunlight heal the dark places.

Now, with all that said, the manuscript I am nestled firmly in the heart of will be the inaugural release from J Fox Ink™ and my debut novel. I did not plan it to be this way but this is the path I was fated to travel. I want to take a moment to thank some incredible angels for nurturing me on this journey. I know in my spirit; I would not have found the courage to propel further with this project if it weren’t for – Gin, Hope, Zeus, Tanya R. Taylor, Traci Andrighetti, Parris Afton Bonds, Diana Layne, Sean Platt, Johnny B. Truant, and David W. Wright. I thank you with all my heart for everything.

8/6/16 UPDATE: MY NOVEL DEBUT ‘TOUGH’ HAS A NEW TITLE TO FIT THE WOMAN I AM – ‘EVEN TOUGH WOMEN CRACK LIKE EGGS SOMETIMES’. THANK YOU TO THE INCREDIBLE WOMEN WHO ALWAYS INSPIRE AND SOFTEN THE TOUGH ME – TANYA R. TAYLOR AND PARRIS AFTON BONDS. XOXOXO

ADMSM
 

# Am Writing: The Papa Turtle™ Series

0955tg1400895995I may take a cue from the vivacious Vivi Dumas and go write in the wild this Memorial weekend while back on the Island. I should take a notebook and index cards (I love the ones with the rings in neon colors from Staples) like the vibrant Diana Layne but I’ll be at the beach and don’t want to get my papers wet. Really, Diana, I’ll take notes on my phone with my writing app. O.o

Hmmm…perhaps I will just take the weekend off since after this weekend I will be turning my phone off, locking myself in my writing grotto and resume pounding away on the keys to finish the final drafts for books 1-3 in The Papa Turtle™ Series. Me thinks a little reading, relaxing and movie watching is on the agenda…After all, a gal’s gotta recharge her batteries every once in an aqua sandy beach moon! ;P
Happy writing!

Always,
~DM

© 2014 Diane Morasco Enterprises, Inc.
All rights reserved. All characters and underlying materials copyright Diane Morasco.
“Papa Turtle” and “Lola Foxtail” and all of the PAPA TURTLE characters are trademarks of Diane Morasco Enterprises, Inc.
All third party trademarks are the property of their respective owners. Used with permissions.

Mickey Mouse © Disney, All Rights Reserved